yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Randomize