I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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