Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
