How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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