were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
