i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
