Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
