i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
