I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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