oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
