Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
