I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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