I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
