i already hear my dad disowning me
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Randomize
