Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
only you would photoshop your dick
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
