Acid is not a monday night drug
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
