I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
