This girl is more easily done than said...
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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