Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
