Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
