Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
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