did you get engaged???
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
