i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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