I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
