I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
