I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Randomize