I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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