Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
