please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
