dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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