Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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