eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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