i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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