No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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