Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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