So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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