Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
The beer is more important than you right now.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
