I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
