my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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