She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
