cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
