after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
