i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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