No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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