how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
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