I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
