WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
