Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
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