so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
