Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
