wat bout pragnant strippers??
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
