Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
