I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Randomize
