Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
