She is in my trunk
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
