Having a random hookup so left but love u
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
