I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
