A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
My hand turned me down
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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