last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
