how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
